This morning I woke up at 6a & I actually felt more awake today than the days I wake up at 10a. I guess all those years working at the Bucks has made me accustom to the early bird risers. I woke up feeling good and alert, I didn’t need an immediate cup of joe in my hands. Felt nice. As I lay in bed, I hear the grunts & groans and the dishes being tossed in the sink. I walk out of the bedroom and see him looking pissed off as he’s washing a cup.
“Why are you washing a cup when there’s mugs in the cabinet?”
“Because all the fucking dishes are dirty. I had to wash dishes & this pan just to make breakfast.”
I open the cabinet to show him, “Those aren’t dirty.” There’s at least 4 mugs in the corner.
“I didn’t wanna use a mug. I needed a cup.”
Oh my goodness, really??? The prince needed a CUP, not a mug. They both hold liquids, does it really matter?? Instead of getting upset, I tell him from now on I’m gonna make breakfast at night so all he has to do is heat it up in the morning. You see that? Did I act like a psychobitch & get crazy? (NO). Anyway, Last night, I was tired at 11p and took advantage of the early night (yes, 11p is early for me), so I passed out w/o washing the dishes. Boy, did I regret it. This dispute made the sunrise feel like bullshit. We bickered about something else and eventually headed out. I’m just tired of fighting. I’m tired of his attitude. I’m tired of his anger issue & getting mad about eeeeverything. AGAIN. He literally reminds me of The Hulk, minus the green body.
On the drive to his job site, I tried to reason with him about his anger issue and how it’s not good to let something as simple as a DISH piss him off. Don’t let stuff (especially dishes) get the best of you, ya know? That’s my philosophy.
“You sound like a counselor,” is what he mutters.
Great. That’s EXACTLY what I wanted him to say. (Ugh…)
The rest of the way, it was a dead silence. What more can we say? Did we just break up a few minutes ago? I don’t want to further express what else was said because, like every other couple that argues, we say stuff we don’t mean. Or, we say stuff we DO mean, but when it comes down to it, don’t follow through it. So who the fuck knows.
Now I feel like crap. Not depressed. Not going all emo on ya’ll. Its just frustrating not knowing what’s going to happen when you have all these plans to go back to school in the fall. If I end up a single mom, how am I gonna do baby, school, AND work? I would love the advice from another mother who did it. I was hoping to be a stay at home mom for a few months, but now I may have to look for work sooner than expected.
All this over a dirty stupid pan and dish.